It has all of the same letters as COVID plus more. I keep seeing it pop up quickly and no one is saying anything. All I hear are crickets and sympathy.
I’m talking about DIVORCE. Rearranged you might see it RE:COVID
I keep seeing couples post some picture walking on vacation and make divorce announcements. As I read, I see 90% sympathy, 5% judging, and 5% confused. But, no one is talking about this. No one is expressing concern. At least in my 1000s of facebook friends and hundreds of Instagram friends. And to me, marriages dissolving are BIG DEAL! Let’s take a look at the COVID divorces.
Rachel and Dave Hollis. (18 years)
Heidi and Chris Powell. (10 years)
Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari (7 years)
Christina and Ant Antstead. (Less than 2 years)
Julianne Hough and Brooks Laich. (almost 3 years)
Cardi B and Offset (almost 3 years)
Dianna Agron and Mumford & Sons guitarist, Winston Marshall. (3 years)
Emmitt and Pat Smith. (20 years)
Darius Rucker and Beth Leonard (20 years)
Armie Hammer and Elizabeth Chambers (10 years)
Kacey Musgraves and Ruston Kelly. (less than 5 years)
Carly Pearce and Michael Ray. (Less than a year)
Kelly Clarkson and Brandon Blackstock. (7 years)
Sean Hannity and Jill Rhodes. (27 years)
Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green (10 years)
Jaime King and Kyle Newman (13 years)
Olivier Sarkozy and Mary-Kate Olsen (5 years)
And many, many more.
This started becoming alarming to me after 3 divorces…then I realized there were many more.
I am grieving over this. As an adult, I watched my parents separate after my dad had an affair and then divorced after 27 years together. Absolutely shocking and changed the trajectory of my life and my mindset about relationships forever.
So, it may come as a shock to you, but I still believe marriage is forever. Why make vows if you aren’t planning to keep them? We need to be talking about these issues because I want you to fight for your marriage. I know I am and I’m not even married yet.
As a 30-year-old who has been in a long-distance relationship for almost 4.5 years, I cannot tell you how excited I am for marriage. I know it’s going to be hard. I know the stats are literally working against us. But… I also know that marriage isn’t about me. It also won’t be about him. Marriage was created by God, for God with gifts to be treasured in the unity and covenant you make by getting married.
& I hope I never lose sight of that. I also hope you never lose sight of that.
Celebrities are people too and while it has become common, know that it’s operating off of dysfunction because it’s not operating how it was intended to operate.
So, how can we troubleshoot to avoid posting our own announcement normalizing what God designed to be as earthly permanence?
Before and after the Vows:
- Selflessness creates a thriving marriage. Outdo each other in service and you won’t fail.
- Turn to God with your frustrations. God can do exceedingly, abundantly more with your little than you can ever do with your plenty. By inviting God to move on your behalf, you create room for Him to work by faithfully stopping micromanaging the situation.
- Stop idolizing relationship goals. There is no such thing. Every relationship is hard. You are seeing what they want you to see.
- Be wise when selecting a spouse. My grandmother always told me, “See them through the seasons and see them in every emotion. Allow them to see you too to see how they treat you. If you still like them after going through all of that, they might just be the one.”
- Keep Christ at the center.
After the vows: (advice from my great grandparents, grandparents, and mom)
- Treat your marriage as top priority. Outside of your relationship with God, you minister first in your marriage and second, through your children. Don’t underestimate the gift you give your children by loving your spouse
- Don’t keep secrets from your spouse. Trust is often the fabric for love to sit on…and its hard to earn back.
- Don’t ever let the sun go down on your anger. Say “I’m sorry” first.
- You are going to fall in love with a different soul and the same person over and over…never get too attached to the person you say “I do” to; they change and so do you.
- Fight for it like it’s your life savings. If everyone looked at their marriage as millions of dollars, they would treat it differently. Get counseling when things start falling apart. Differentiate and change it up. If you fell in love once before, you can do it again.
Here’s to making divorce less common and abnormal! Let’s make lifelong marriage cool again. *This post is in honor of my wonderful great grandparents who loved each other for over 50 years on Earth and are finally together again*