I’m Not Where I Want to Be & That’s Okay

I’m not where I want to be.

In my world, there are lots of celebrations & I love a good party as much as the next girl. From the scents of roses and peonies to the monogrammed neon lights and the beloved dance floor. & don’t worry…next weekend, I will indulge in the cutest little pink ruffle onesie sugar cookies as we celebrate another beautiful baby girl coming into the world.

But I’m not where I want to be.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore and celebrate my friends. They are where they want to be and it’s a joy to celebrate a check on their dream list. I’m honored I get to be a part of their joy. But I would be lying if I said there weren’t days I cried out to God asking, “When will it be my turn?” And then, I check myself.

But I’m not where I want to be.

In the waiting room, I am finding out more about these “bible characters” we often struggle to relate to. Well, of course we don’t relate…it’s not like I’m dating a guy with 10 syllables in his name. It’s not like I’ve had to leave my country to follow my mother-in-law after all of the men in our family have died. It’s not like a prophet showed up to call me Queen. It’s not like I get to walk with Jesus day after day, with a curious mind and standing in amazement. It’s not like someone walked in to my work and asked me to leave it all behind and follow Him. I mean, am I wrong?

Well, sis, you guessed it…I’m not where I want to be.

In studying scripture, I have found, I’m like all of these people (minus the ten syllable part). I have had to leave comfort before. I have had to stick close to a loved one in a season when I was ready to soar into independence. We have an anointing on our lives as children of the Lord. & I get a closeness with the Lord that those before Him didn’t get the privilege of experiencing; the Holy Spirit. And guess what? We have had someone walk into the mess and ask us to abandon it all to pursue Him.

I’m not where…(hold up)

In the struggle, I have found…I’m not where I want to be, because I’m exactly where God called me to be. In scripture, we get the privilege to read the rest of the story. I don’t know about you, but sometimes, this creates an attitude of entitlement in me. Well, so and so, got the answer to my prayer…”So, hey God, I know we are close, so why haven’t you sent out the invitations to my party yet? Why do you keep rain checking on all of my plans?” I get it.

I’m where I’m supposed to be. 

I am speaking to you, sis,  but I am also giving myself this pep talk. Just because you’re waiting doesn’t mean you won’t finally get in. Just because you haven’t received an answer doesn’t mean your answer is, “No.”  Just because you don’t like the chapter you’re in doesn’t mean your book is finished. Just because you don’t like the season you are in, doesn’t mean a new one isn’t waiting around the corner. Just because you can’t see what God is doing, doesn’t mean He isn’t working.

I’m not where I want to be; I’m where God chose for me to be.

Today may not look how you want it to. You may be in a grueling season, BUT the Author is still writing and there is always, always, always a purpose. So, today, I’m not where I want to be & that’s totally okay.

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